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Here are two things that I enjoy:

  1. Oven fried chicken
  2. DoodleJump

Here, let me share my enjoyment with you!

  1. I love my oven fried chicken and I’m going to pass on my super secret recipe that I came up with all by myself.* I like to use chicken thighs because the dark meat stays juicier; breast meat tends to dry out in the oven. Plus, I can buy a package of thighs at around $0.89/pound. Much cheaper!

    So basically, you want to gather whatever dry seasonings that you like the most and mix them with flour. I like garlic and onion powders, sometimes chili powder, seasoned salt and pepper, and paprika. Just roll the chicken in the mix until it’s thoroughly coated. I probably should have told you to pre-heat the oven first. Forget everything I just said and go pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees. Then powder the chicken. In a shallow baking pan, melt two or three spoonfuls of butter or margarine in the oven. When it’s melted, add the chicken. Let it cook for 30 minutes, flip them over, and cook for 30 minutes more. That’s it! It’s some finger-fuckin’-lickin’ chickin’! Mm mm mm!

    * Page 284 of Betty Crocker’s cookbook, 2000 edition.

  2. DoodleJump is an awesome iPhone/iPod Touch game that you can find here. It’s awesome because I don’t have to think about what I’m doing. I don’t play a lot of video games because there’s too much going on and too much to think about and it all hurts my brain. DoodleJump is simple; all you’re doing is jumping higher and higher while using the iPhone/iPod Touch’s accelerometer to move your player in a certain direction.

    It’s true brilliance, however, is its complexity in the face of seeming simplicity. DoodleJump is a haunting metaphor of the savage pointlessness of man’s existence. Every day is a neverending jump toward something we don’t know is there. We jump, and yet we do not know why we jump. The only way to stop is to fall. Falling is death. Stopping is death.

    Jump.

    Or die.

    It’s very Kafka-esque.

    Anyway, it took me weeks to gain a high score of over 25,000, which I was very proud of and uploaded to my Facebook profile. I then discovered I could look up other people’s scores and found that the highest score uploaded that day was over one million and the highest score ever is over three million.

    Fuck you, DoodleJump.

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